The "Real You" - A Warrior!

Last night at church I attended a women's ministry presentation of The Real You, last night's topic was becoming a prayer warrior. It was a really awesome event and I'm so glad I went!

There has been a lot of turbulence in my life these past couple months. Kenneth deployed in early November, my mom passed away towards the end of November and within a couple weeks as I began rethinking priorities and going through a lot of internal changes after mom's death I began to really struggle with my marriage and relationship with Kenneth. Any one of these things is more than enough of an emotional strain, but all within a month of each other has truly broken me down as a person and I've had to finally fall flat on my face and ask God for guidance and direction and peace in my life. I don't have the answers, I do not feel capable of finding them on my own. I don't know which direction my life will take at this point but I am finding hope and comfort in trusting there IS a plan, even if I don't know what it is and I have chosen to seek Him as I continue to look for answers.

For a long time I have kept to myself on a lot of things that have hurt me, worried me, and made me sad and through my mom's loss I think the reality of just how short life is began to sink in and as that happened I realized just how much in my life there is to change. My focus now is on finding out who I really am, what I need and want in my life, what kind of person I want to be, what kind of mother I want to be, where my priorites need to be and making time for friendships and connections that I've not had for a long time and have been missing so much. I've begun to invest time at church as I've felt the lack of a church family for many years, and am excited to have found a church I want to connect to that has a great children's program that I am praying Kent will eventually be able to really connect with as well. That was such an important part of growing up for me, those friendships and experiences and I am hoping he will be able to discover something amazing through his time with the youth program at our church now too. I have a lot of hope for our future, I am excited to see what will happen this year, what way God will work in our lives and I am trying to just be still and listen and be open to the path He puts us on. Honesty and transparency are the two things I know I really need - being honest with myself is the starting place and I am working on that now.

Talking about prayer last night and establishing that connection with God was a great topic for me. It's something I've lacked in my life as a Christian, but something I need and honestly I realized just how much it helps me to get clarity on what is really important, what is really on my heart. When I open up and begin to pray, listening to the words that tumble out is honestly eye opening... so all of that to say things have been confusing and emotional for me but I have great friends and family and am thankful for them, and I am finding my way, one day at a time.


Popular Posts