Chatted with Fran and Kent is Home!!

I left work a little early yesterday so I could try to get my workout in before leaving to pick up Kent. They were supposed to be back around 6:00pm. I got home at about 4:00 and got going on my workout - shoulders and arms today, lots of weights! I got about a half hour into it and the phone rang. Fran from the agency I am signed up with had called to chat and go over the application I'd submitted that morning and discuss some potential couples she has searching right now.

Everything in my application looked fine to her, though I thought it was sort of funny that she did mention she took out the number of dogs we had - I listed that we have 5 rescue dogs in there and she said that might weird some people out so she changed it to just say dogs instead of how many. I don't mind her changing it, but at the same time we DO have 5 dogs and if IPs wouldn't want to work with me because of that I don't see why we shouldn't tell them up front... I'm sure it will come up in any initial conversation I have with potential IPs though, so I'm not worried about it!

I think I'm excited to have some potential conversations lined up sometime next week, but also nervous again. This last journey was picture perfect when it comes to cycling and how I responded to meds. My body did EXACTLY what it should have and I was SO over the moon happy about that! And now all the "what ifs" are creeping back in and I worry yet again about what if this time my body is uncooperative, what if I don't respond to the protocol the way I should, what if my lining doesn't thicken up correctly? Will I mess up my IPs cycle if its fresh? I don't want to be responsible for that...! So, I know I just need to make sure IPs know about my cycle history and that any RE we work with also knows and then continue to keep fingers and toes crossed that we'll have a repeat of this last journey and not the lining issues I had several times with my first IPs! I hated that for them SO much, I felt SO much guilt. Thank God we were able to finally move forward with transfer and I did get pregnant for them, it was the saving grace of it all, but I still have a lot of guilty feelings for all the extra expense they went through because of me... Things were so different the second time with L&N, no extra expense, no poor responses, no super ridiculous high meds expenses trying different protocols, just a simple straight forward estrace protocol and a normal response and pregnant with the first transfer! I can't really wrap my head around it and will never understand the "whys" of things. But I am grateful that I know I can have a normal cycle, normal lining, and I can obviously get pregnant with IVF transfers and I will just choose to remain positive and trust when I find the right match and we move forward things WILL go well for us!!

After I talked with Fran for nearly an hour it was time to go pick Kent up. I was SO happy to see him! He wasn't ready to be home at all, he had a fantastic time and was in a great mood. I loved hearing all about the things they saw, learned and did while they were there. There was so much enthusiasm and happiness in his voice. I live for those moments and love that he had such a good time!! Wish I could send him to camp for fun adventures every week! :D Of course, then it wouldn't exactly be special. He's already really looking forward to the opportunity to go next year and said lots of Thank Yous last night. :) We'll see how long it takes him before he slips back into normal moody pre-teen mode!!

Hoping today is peaceful and quiet and looking forward to the weekend which seems just around the corner. I've been so tired the past couple days, I'm just ready for a little down time...!


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