Happy 1st Birthday Fiona!

I am going to try my hardest to put down into words all the thoughts running through my head… today is Fiona’s first birthday – a year ago I finally got to meet in person this little miracle who had begun as the hopes and dreams of many, a desire in her mother and father’s hearts.

Dear Fiona,

You are a special and dearly loved child. You were dreamt of and hoped for, for many years before your mommy and daddy ever got to lay their eyes on you. You are a miracle baby who NEVER has to doubt whether she is loved, whether she is wanted.

Your beginnings lie in your mother’s heart, in her dreams. You called to her, and she knew that despite the set backs, they needed to continue on, to find a way to bring you into their lives. Your little embryo lay quietly, frozen in time for over 6 years before I was given the chance to provide you a warm place to grow in. I will never know why I was chosen to be the one to carry you, but I do believe I was chosen. I believe your mother, father, and I were supposed to find each other. What a roller coaster it was, just working to have a chance to transfer, a chance to see who would implant, who would grow. And it was you! Your mommy and I knew before we even transferred that you were a girl; we both had dreams of you. She dreamt of your voice, calling to her, I dreamt of the delivery, of seeing you in their arms that very first time, seeing the love in their eyes for you. Carrying you was a joy! I loved sharing every silly craving, every bump from within, every ache, every doctor appointment with your parents, and watching their excitement about you growing, and growing. To watch that healing slowly taking place, to watch your parent’s planning and preparing for your arrival. When we were a month away from our due date I was shocked at how quickly the time had gone by, and I did my best to try to just enjoy our last couple weeks together, knowing as I tried to slow time down your mommy and daddy were probably praying to speed it up! I was so excited when they finally arrived in Georgia, knowing the time would be soon and so anxious to see you with them finally.

I was so glad they got to attend our final doctor appointment, and speak to the midwife and ask their questions, and we all felt sure that tomorrow we would be able to go the hospital and get things going since I was having some contractions off and on. However, we didn’t have to wait even that long as labor began late that same night. I was so nervous to call your mom and dad, afraid that maybe it was a false alarm – but it wasn’t! That whole night and early morning is just a blur to me, but your labor was an incredible and beautiful experience that I will never forget, and will always be thankful for. There are simply no words to express what a special experience your delivery truly was. The very best part though, right as you entered this world, right before you drew your first breath, before that first cry, was finally living out the dream I had, all those months before, looking up into your parent’s eyes and seeing that look – that amazement, adoration, and just love shining through – all for you! All of our time, and effort, commitment and love was realized right then and there for me – you were here, with them where you had belonged for so long, and I was witness to what was nothing short of a miracle.

So on your special day, I tell you again the story of your beginnings to remind you how very much you are wanted, how special you are to so many, how deeply your life already has touched my own life, and I know many others as well. When I see the pictures of you as you grow, see your mother and your father in your beautiful face, I am filled again with wonderment, with love for each of you, and with a profound joy and happiness. I pray each day for your life to be filled with joy and happiness, for you have already given so much of that to others. For peace, and for love to always surround you, and for you to know, to truly know, how very special you are.

Happy Birthday Fiona!!


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