What is a "Serial Surrogate"??
I was reading through some articles today:
Surrogate Mom Damages Heart After Four Babies - 'Serial Surrogates' Seek to Help Others, But Put Themselves at Risk in Multiple Pregnancies
Surrogate Mom Delivers Eight Babies in Seven Years - California Woman Births Children for Couples Around the World
Serial Surrogates Have Delivered More Babies for Others Than Themselves - Surrogate: 'It Gives Me a Great Sense of Pride'
Meet a Serial Surrogate Mother - Anita Brush has had 11 children, eight of whom were not her own.
YOUR LIFE: FAMILY - I'M A SERIAL SURROGATE - Touched by the plight of one childless couple, surrogate mother Andrea Gibson gave birth to two babies for them - and now she plans to have a third.
So what IS a "Serial Surrogate"?? And why does that sound like such a nasty term?! Is it unhealthy and dangerous to be a surrogate more than once or twice? Do people who thought it was fantastic the first or second time you were a surrogate think negatively of you for continuing on with subsequent journeys? What is that magic "cut-off" point?!
I, myself, am thrilled that I get the chance to be a surrogate hopefully at least once more. I love that I have had two easy, uncomplicated pregnancies and have been able to help bring 2 little girls into this world and into their parents arms. Each time, at the beginning of a surrogacy journey I thought it might be my last one, but figured I'd see how it went and see how I felt at the end. Months before Fiona was born I KNEW I wanted to be a surrogate again. I went into my second surrogacy kind of thinking it would probably be my last, and who knew what the future was going to hold. Then after Samantha arrived, Kenneth and I actually started discussing our future and timelines and plans and I realized I would be able to be a G.S. probably once more and I was excited! I couldn't wait to start searching for one more fantastic match and hope and pray I get to help one more couple bring a baby (or two!) home with them! But since this will be my third surrogacy, I also started wondering if this makes me a "serial surrogate" and if it would change the perception some have of me because of it. I don't necessarily care what others think, and if they're going to think negatively of me then so be it. I want to do what I feel is right in my heart for myself and for my family, and surrogacy is indeed what feels right and as long as I have the support of those closest to me that is ultimately all that matters. But there does seem to be this general feeling I get when I see this topic addressed and discussed that a surrogate may have something "wrong" with her if she wants to carry more than two times, maybe more than three times (I'm not sure what the "you're crazy now" cut-off is!!) :) That somehow she "needs" the attention that comes with a surrogacy pregnancy, or perhaps she just wants or needs the extra money, or perhaps she needs to be a surrogate to feel fulfilled... there seems to be many different thoughts and opinions on this topic. Like many things, I'm sure perhaps some of those reasons do apply to some, but for the most part I think it probably comes down to the ability to do it, and the joy of helping build a family.
For me, that is what it boils down to. That is the simplest explanation I can come up with when I think about it. I am physically capable of getting pregnant via IVF, I am very comfortable with what is needed of me during a surrogacy, my family is supportive of me, I enjoy being pregnant, and I absolutely love being a part of something so unique and special. Do I get emotional fulfillment out of being a surrogate? Of COURSE I do!! How could you not feel fulfilled and happy to help build a family? But do I need surrogacy to find emotional fulfillment? No way! I love my family, my animals, my friends, my job. Of course I have a life outside of surrogacy, but it is something I want to have in my life, something I choose to have in my life. I think the day will come when it is easy to walk away, to feel like that chapter in my life is "closed" - to just be able to look back and enjoy the memories and enoy the pictures, seeing the babies grow over the years, but I guess I'm just not ready to close that chapter yet. I am still so excited about the chance to match and carry for a couple, whether it's one more time or more who knows - I kind of think this will probably be my final journey but I don't think this is one of those things (at least for me) that I can decide up front and say with finality "this is it" and that's that! I will see how things go, see where we're at in our lives when this journey is complete and go from there!
So, there, I guess that makes this "confessions of a Serial Surrogate"??!! :)
Surrogate Mom Damages Heart After Four Babies - 'Serial Surrogates' Seek to Help Others, But Put Themselves at Risk in Multiple Pregnancies
Surrogate Mom Delivers Eight Babies in Seven Years - California Woman Births Children for Couples Around the World
Serial Surrogates Have Delivered More Babies for Others Than Themselves - Surrogate: 'It Gives Me a Great Sense of Pride'
Meet a Serial Surrogate Mother - Anita Brush has had 11 children, eight of whom were not her own.
YOUR LIFE: FAMILY - I'M A SERIAL SURROGATE - Touched by the plight of one childless couple, surrogate mother Andrea Gibson gave birth to two babies for them - and now she plans to have a third.
So what IS a "Serial Surrogate"?? And why does that sound like such a nasty term?! Is it unhealthy and dangerous to be a surrogate more than once or twice? Do people who thought it was fantastic the first or second time you were a surrogate think negatively of you for continuing on with subsequent journeys? What is that magic "cut-off" point?!
I, myself, am thrilled that I get the chance to be a surrogate hopefully at least once more. I love that I have had two easy, uncomplicated pregnancies and have been able to help bring 2 little girls into this world and into their parents arms. Each time, at the beginning of a surrogacy journey I thought it might be my last one, but figured I'd see how it went and see how I felt at the end. Months before Fiona was born I KNEW I wanted to be a surrogate again. I went into my second surrogacy kind of thinking it would probably be my last, and who knew what the future was going to hold. Then after Samantha arrived, Kenneth and I actually started discussing our future and timelines and plans and I realized I would be able to be a G.S. probably once more and I was excited! I couldn't wait to start searching for one more fantastic match and hope and pray I get to help one more couple bring a baby (or two!) home with them! But since this will be my third surrogacy, I also started wondering if this makes me a "serial surrogate" and if it would change the perception some have of me because of it. I don't necessarily care what others think, and if they're going to think negatively of me then so be it. I want to do what I feel is right in my heart for myself and for my family, and surrogacy is indeed what feels right and as long as I have the support of those closest to me that is ultimately all that matters. But there does seem to be this general feeling I get when I see this topic addressed and discussed that a surrogate may have something "wrong" with her if she wants to carry more than two times, maybe more than three times (I'm not sure what the "you're crazy now" cut-off is!!) :) That somehow she "needs" the attention that comes with a surrogacy pregnancy, or perhaps she just wants or needs the extra money, or perhaps she needs to be a surrogate to feel fulfilled... there seems to be many different thoughts and opinions on this topic. Like many things, I'm sure perhaps some of those reasons do apply to some, but for the most part I think it probably comes down to the ability to do it, and the joy of helping build a family.
For me, that is what it boils down to. That is the simplest explanation I can come up with when I think about it. I am physically capable of getting pregnant via IVF, I am very comfortable with what is needed of me during a surrogacy, my family is supportive of me, I enjoy being pregnant, and I absolutely love being a part of something so unique and special. Do I get emotional fulfillment out of being a surrogate? Of COURSE I do!! How could you not feel fulfilled and happy to help build a family? But do I need surrogacy to find emotional fulfillment? No way! I love my family, my animals, my friends, my job. Of course I have a life outside of surrogacy, but it is something I want to have in my life, something I choose to have in my life. I think the day will come when it is easy to walk away, to feel like that chapter in my life is "closed" - to just be able to look back and enjoy the memories and enoy the pictures, seeing the babies grow over the years, but I guess I'm just not ready to close that chapter yet. I am still so excited about the chance to match and carry for a couple, whether it's one more time or more who knows - I kind of think this will probably be my final journey but I don't think this is one of those things (at least for me) that I can decide up front and say with finality "this is it" and that's that! I will see how things go, see where we're at in our lives when this journey is complete and go from there!
So, there, I guess that makes this "confessions of a Serial Surrogate"??!! :)
If I didn't have to have c-sections I would be a GS over and over again. I too don't care much for what others think about what I do!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. I haven't been able to do a surrogacy yet but planned on doing 2 or 3 (atleast) as long as I was able. I hate the term serial surrogate. It sounds awful. Good luck with your next journey.
ReplyDeleteLikewise any other topic, the main obstacle to become or not become a surrogate mother is the society’s opinion. Even in such a matter, where as a result of medical treatments a child can be brought to the world, the society can not consider the situation in a positive way. But, as a rule, the opinions are expressed by those people who are afraid of something new, something that they are not even personally involved to. But what would these speakers do , if they faced the problem of infertility? Surrogate mothers just give birth to a child and that’s it. They do not have any relationship with a child. Therefore, the child entirely belongs to the biological parents.
ReplyDeletecan someone just carry a baby for my husband and I it would have to be someone else eggs cause I don't have any due to a hysterectomy
ReplyDelete