My husband amazes me
He amazed me today, made me very proud to be his wife and I was just sitting here pondering our conversation and had to write down my thoughts.
The back story first, Kenneth had to be "convinced" to give his support when I first started looking into surrogacy. I am sure I've shared the story many times before, but the abbreviated version is that I first looked into it when Kent was only about 3 years old. At the time we were in the Marine Corps and Kenneth thought it was a bad time and I could tell he was hesitant so I said "ok" and let it go. Years later through a series of coincidences or fate, the desire surged again and I felt much stronger about showing Kenneth how much it meant to me and making sure this time I would have his support. Of COURSE I only wanted to move forward as a GS with his 100% support, but I also know sometimes it just takes a little prodding and providing the right information to gain that support. So I researched like a mad woman, presented my case and poured out my heart and gave him time to think it over. Obviously he did agree, and I do think for him the biggest motivator was the compensation. He realizes that I am personally gaining quite a bit emotionally and that is my motivator, but he sees his reward as financial. I admit this has frustrated me some and aggravated me that he couldn't be more emotional about it, more sensitive to the couples I am working with, but I accept that part of his personality and we agree to disagree. There was a time when I wanted very much to TS for a couple we'd met who live in Georgia and the compensation they were offering was significantly lower than what my first contract had been for and I worked and worked and worked on Kenneth to try to get him to agree to the lower amount. He did eventually agree to a much lower amount then I'd recieved the first time and I was very happy that we'd been able to compromise and that he was willing to budge. That felt like a huge deal! (Nothing ever came of that potential match, so there was no more to that then a discussion between Kenneth and myself).
So, I tell you all of that so that you will understand why the conversation he and I had just a little while ago truly amazed me and reminded me again of the depths of his heart, when its for someone he cares about. He is so fiercely loyal, I will NEVER ever have to doubt that my husband is faithful to me, loyal to me, would do whatever it took to protect and care for his family - it is WHO he is. When he loves someone, when they are someone he can truly call friend, they become a part of that inner circle of which he is fiercely protective. I have always loved that about him, it drew me to him many many years ago. He is a very strong person.
He called to check in and then brought up something that is going on with one of his Marines, I don't want to share too many details because they are very personal to the people involved and honestly I don't know the full story and don't want to put anything down that's not true. The abbreviated version is that the wife of someone he works with is facing the possibility of a hysterectomy, they don't have children and were trying recently. Most everyone Kenneth works with knows I was a GS, and apparently someone suggested that the person talk to Kenneth which he did yesterday. Kenneth thought about it all evening and was stewing on it, and he pretty much asked me if I would be open to being their GS if that is what they need in the future. I told him of course I would and was he ok with a non-comp GS for them, and he said he was... that is HUGE... I mean, I really wouldn't have expected him to bring it up for a Marine if he wasn't meaning for it to be a non-comp journey but still the fact that he spent half a day thinking about it and wanted to make sure I would be ok with it, so he could let the guy know its an option if he needs it... it really, really touched me. I think he was a little worried because I've said this journey I'm currently matched for is my last GS, regardless of what happens but I have no problem with working with family or friends - I just don't want to go through the whole process of matching, etc. again, not that there's anything wrong with that or that I have any negative feelins about it AT ALL, I'm just ready to focus on my life and family. But for a family member or friend, of course I would at least offer in a heartbeat! I will hope and pray for this couple that they have other options and that they don't need a GS, but I am very touched and amazed by my husband today that he wants us to consider this for them if they need us... that was super special to me and I love him very much for his heart, for his passion, and for his loyalty...
The back story first, Kenneth had to be "convinced" to give his support when I first started looking into surrogacy. I am sure I've shared the story many times before, but the abbreviated version is that I first looked into it when Kent was only about 3 years old. At the time we were in the Marine Corps and Kenneth thought it was a bad time and I could tell he was hesitant so I said "ok" and let it go. Years later through a series of coincidences or fate, the desire surged again and I felt much stronger about showing Kenneth how much it meant to me and making sure this time I would have his support. Of COURSE I only wanted to move forward as a GS with his 100% support, but I also know sometimes it just takes a little prodding and providing the right information to gain that support. So I researched like a mad woman, presented my case and poured out my heart and gave him time to think it over. Obviously he did agree, and I do think for him the biggest motivator was the compensation. He realizes that I am personally gaining quite a bit emotionally and that is my motivator, but he sees his reward as financial. I admit this has frustrated me some and aggravated me that he couldn't be more emotional about it, more sensitive to the couples I am working with, but I accept that part of his personality and we agree to disagree. There was a time when I wanted very much to TS for a couple we'd met who live in Georgia and the compensation they were offering was significantly lower than what my first contract had been for and I worked and worked and worked on Kenneth to try to get him to agree to the lower amount. He did eventually agree to a much lower amount then I'd recieved the first time and I was very happy that we'd been able to compromise and that he was willing to budge. That felt like a huge deal! (Nothing ever came of that potential match, so there was no more to that then a discussion between Kenneth and myself).
So, I tell you all of that so that you will understand why the conversation he and I had just a little while ago truly amazed me and reminded me again of the depths of his heart, when its for someone he cares about. He is so fiercely loyal, I will NEVER ever have to doubt that my husband is faithful to me, loyal to me, would do whatever it took to protect and care for his family - it is WHO he is. When he loves someone, when they are someone he can truly call friend, they become a part of that inner circle of which he is fiercely protective. I have always loved that about him, it drew me to him many many years ago. He is a very strong person.
He called to check in and then brought up something that is going on with one of his Marines, I don't want to share too many details because they are very personal to the people involved and honestly I don't know the full story and don't want to put anything down that's not true. The abbreviated version is that the wife of someone he works with is facing the possibility of a hysterectomy, they don't have children and were trying recently. Most everyone Kenneth works with knows I was a GS, and apparently someone suggested that the person talk to Kenneth which he did yesterday. Kenneth thought about it all evening and was stewing on it, and he pretty much asked me if I would be open to being their GS if that is what they need in the future. I told him of course I would and was he ok with a non-comp GS for them, and he said he was... that is HUGE... I mean, I really wouldn't have expected him to bring it up for a Marine if he wasn't meaning for it to be a non-comp journey but still the fact that he spent half a day thinking about it and wanted to make sure I would be ok with it, so he could let the guy know its an option if he needs it... it really, really touched me. I think he was a little worried because I've said this journey I'm currently matched for is my last GS, regardless of what happens but I have no problem with working with family or friends - I just don't want to go through the whole process of matching, etc. again, not that there's anything wrong with that or that I have any negative feelins about it AT ALL, I'm just ready to focus on my life and family. But for a family member or friend, of course I would at least offer in a heartbeat! I will hope and pray for this couple that they have other options and that they don't need a GS, but I am very touched and amazed by my husband today that he wants us to consider this for them if they need us... that was super special to me and I love him very much for his heart, for his passion, and for his loyalty...
I can't stand being pregnant, I think it's so selfless of you to offer your time and body to help other families.
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