Ode to a Dream (2007)

Ode to a Dream - 2007 (for Fiona S my first surro-baby)

A flit of light
A star streaking across the night sky
You danced with the cherubs for years
You sang with the angels and waited
Your parent's longed for you, ached for you, but you were still a dream

How does a dream come true?
It begins in the heart, the secret wish.
To hold you close, to smell your skin, to feel your eyelashes brush against a cheek.
The heart speaks the language of love so clearly; knows exactly what it wants, yearns for so deeply.
The emptiness that is felt when those whispered hopes go unanswered.
The quietness, missing your laughter, longing to meet you.
The quiet.
Hope is quiet, the heart still whispers, quietly.

To hope again!
To embrace the longing!
To find faith!
You are MEANT to be, I was meant to help you find your way.
I will never understand why I was chosen as the vessel, why I was allowed to witness the dream, born in the heart, become flesh.

You are love.
There is nothing about you not longed for, prayed for, hoped for, waited for.
Your cries, your giggles, your beauty.
You mean so much to so many.
Will you truly ever know?
Will you ever know that you are a true miracle and how blessed I am to have been a part of your beginnings?
You chose us, all of us, and we love you!

It is a mystery to me still.
The emotions of it all.
It is a journey of the heart, a trial of love.
It asks more from some than it does of others.
Gives more to some than it does to others.
How does it choose?
How do we know when it is right?
Why are some so lucky?
Why was I so blessed?
It is a mystery to me.

You created in me something I didn't know I could have, didn't know I was capable of.
I thought I was a loving person before you, but my heart has grown even more.
I cannot adequately express to you, to your parents, the depth of my feelings.
How honored I am, how totally smitten I am.

I could not be more proud to have been a part of you, a dream come true.
All it takes is one glimpse of your face and that never ending love comes rushing back to the surface and I am reliving the beautiful look of love and joy on your parent's face whey they first laid eyes on you.

This is an ode to a miracle, this is an ode to you Fiona.

********

I was cleaning out my desk this afternoon and came across a notebook where I had written down some "ramblings" after I delivered my first surro-baby. It's pretty cheesy and emotional but a sweet reminder of all those amazing feelings I had after her delivery too. I will forever be grateful to her parent's for all they did to make our whole experience together such an unforgettable and special one that I will always treasure!