Sunday, November 30, 2008


Today's test... is a little confusing, but I'm saying negative but still holding out hope for tomorrow. It was like the last two in that I thought I could see a ghost of a line at first, but really it looked like nothing. But once it dried, I can definitely see a VERY faint PINK 2nd line... so I'm not jumping up and down, but it's given me that little bit of hope to hold on to for tomorrow... Still not feeling any symptoms... I don't have any more Answer brand tests, but have a couple store brand Digital tests, so I'll use one tomorrow. If it comes up negative I think I am done testing and will wait for the beta on Wednesday... Praying, praying, praying...

Saturday, November 29, 2008


Maybe tomorrow... test is still snow white today... :( I am bummed, was hoping for at least a light line by today! I have one more Answer brand test for tomorrow, then I have 2 digis and an Equate left. I'll try the digis at 10 and 11dpt, and at 12dpt we'll have our beta and know for sure. Praying harder today... I'm not feeling any symptoms, which isn't encouraging - just the elevated temp but that could very well be from all the extra progesterone I'm on right now.

If you have an extra prayer to spare, we would appreciate them. :) Thank you!!

Friday, November 28, 2008


Today's report is not very exciting... the test was essentially negative - there is a super-duper, surro-eyes only faint 2nd line, but essentially negative, and today is 12 days since my trigger shot, so I guess now the shot is truly out of my system and I hope and pray for some good news with tomorrow's test. I thought about testing tonight (Fiona's first positive was at 7dp3dt, but at mid-day, not FMU)... I just don't have as many tests this time and don't want to torture myself with more testing if its not going to show a second line - I figure it will either show up tomorrow or not... and even if it showed up tonight it doesn't change anything, so I will wait... I am praying HARD... I have felt a few twinges in that same spot, but not much in the last couple days. I have run a low-grade temp the last couple days (99.0-99.1) and my AM temp was higher this morning... oh I want good news tomorrow SO BAD.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

6dp3dt - Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful for so much, and so many in my life! We got to spend the afternoon with Kenneth's family having a wonderful meal, and playing some games together. It was great!

I have had nausea off and on, especially the last two nights, and in the car... not too much else today - which makes me a little nervous, but I'm hanging in there and hoping for great news tomorrow! The test from yesterday dried with a light line, but it is visible. The test I took this AM has a line that is pretty much identical to the test from yesterday - very light, but there... I am not getting excited yet, I know it takes 10-12 days for the trigger to work out of my system, and I'm 11 days past trigger today. I am praying for a DARKER line tomorrow!

I am pretty tired still, so think I'm going to rest for the afternoon - I keep hoping and praying to have great news for T&I this weekend... they've been going through some tough times with their family right now, with a loss, so I just want to have something positive to tell them...

I hope your Thanksgiving was wonderful and that you have a lot in your life to be thankful for as well!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

5dp3dt – Tests are negative, now they need to go positive!

Yesterday’s test had a definite faint line that was easily visible, the test I took this morning MAY have a SHADOW of a line (if I squint and tilt it just right), but it’s essentially negative, so anything positive from here on out IS the real deal!! I am crossing fingers, legs, toes and arms that it shows up by Friday… I want to give my IPs good news this weekend VERY badly!!

I am feeling fine, just tired and the cramps I've been experiencing seem to be subsiding (though I had a painful bout yesterday afternoon - but not feeling much this morning). I checked my temp on a whim last night and it was 99.2 – so that is a good sign. I had a temp dip yesterday morning (I’ve been charting), so maybe, maybe, maybe that was an implantation dip… we shall see. I’m praying so hard for these little embryos!! They’ve waited a long time to get a chance at life, I pray one or two will get that chance and that they’re snuggled in…

I worked until about 7:30pm last night on a project that’s going out today – and will work a full day today as well, but am so excited about the 4-day weekend coming up! Though I do have to come into the office at some point over the weekend and pull out all the Christmas decorations and get that in place! I always enjoy that task!

Hopefully tomorrow will bring a 2nd line…

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

4dp3dt – I caved!

Yep, I caved. I went and picked up 6 Answer brand HPTs last night. Not testing, not knowing if the hcg is still in my system and being able to tell when it’s “real” was killing me! I have no willpower, I know! :) I took the first one this morning (hey, at least I waited ‘til morning and didn’t test as soon as I got home!) and there is definitely still a faint positive line on there. I will watch it over the next couple days to see if it goes away completely before coming back or if it just gets darker (I hope, I hope, I hope)!! :)

Still very nauseated this morning, and hungry earlier than normal. Twinging/cramping in that same spot low on the right… sort of an ache right now. Every time I feel it, I think “snuggle in little embie, dig in!!” I’m very tired too, but am sure that has to do with the progesterone. 8 more days ‘til beta day!

I’m going to send my IPs a quick update and just let them know about the cramps and the nausea, and the test – and then we’ll all wait impatiently to see what the next day’s test says! I still have 3 days to do until I got my first positive with Fiona, so I know it’s really early…

Monday, November 24, 2008

3dp3dt – the urge to POAS is starting to kick in

I KNOW I need to hold out a couple more days, but man the urge is starting to hit me! I want to go buy a bunch of HPTs so bad! I’m only 8 days past trigger though, I KNOW I need to wait a couple more days at least – and I know this was a FET and we didn’t get a positive until 7dp3dt last time… PATIENCE!!

I’m back at work today, but utterly distracted. I’m trying to throw myself into work (there’s PLENTY to do), and help the time go faster, but its hard.

I was feeling fairly nauseated in the car this morning, and a few little twinges in that same spot on the right, but not as much as yesterday… stick little babies stick!!

I've been looking back over my journal entries from Fiona's transfer to "contrast and compare" everything I'm experiencing... it's really cool - the day of the week we transferred her was a Friday as well, with a beta 12 dpt on a Wednesday; identical to this transfer! I thought that was really cool! :)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

2dp3dt check in!

It's the evening on my 2nd day after transfer - feeling a lot of strong twinging low on the right hand side - it will be interesting to see if that keeps up!

I'm having a lot of fatigue and waves of nausea today (I assume it must be the increased dose of progesterone I'm on now).

I'll pick up a couple more brand name HPTs tomorrow or some time this week and start testing on Friday most likely - which will be 7dp3dt and almost 2 full weeks since the trigger, if we get a positive I'll just be cautiously optimistic until it gets darker from there...

I'm so tired and ready for bed and I did NOTHING all day! I spent almost the full day on the couch laying down and my husband just hit me in the eye with a balled up sock so I need to go kill him.

Today is Kent's 10th birthday!! Where does the time go??!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

1 Day Post Transfer

Wooooo hoooo!! Today I'm already a day past transfer - wow!!! I'm so excited and can't wait for the next week to go by, and to get closer to finding out if we have another little Baby S baking!! I need to do a little more reasearch into the hcg trigger shot and when I could realistically expect to get a TRUE positive test with a HPT; I'm thinking at the very earliest I'll test Friday, maybe next Saturday - that would be almost 2 full weeks since trigger, so I should be ok by then (tomorrow will already be one week since trigger).

I am going to look back and read over what I was experiencing at this point with Fiona's transfer, because I'm already feeling a specific twingy spot low on my right hand side which I distinctively remember very soon after her transfer - I know it doesn't really mean a whole lot because these are 3-dayers and they were frozen, so it will still be a couple days for them to implant. I do admit it makes me hopeful though - we've been having lots of discussions about snuggling in - hopefully they're tuning in to all the positive thoughts headed their way! :)

I'm taking it easy as much as possible and plan to pretty much stay in bed Sunday before returning to work on Monday... I know there's not really any clear indication that bedrest helps with implantation/successful transfers, but it certainly doesn't hurt! My poor hubby gets to be the errand boy for another 24 hours! :)

Friday, November 21, 2008

Today IS the day!!

I was horribly bloated yesterday and really miserable from the follicular reduction, and over/hyperstimming... my lower and upper abdomen were very distended and I ached all over. I had called and left my NC a message and asked what I could do to help with that, and when she called back she told me Dr. Kaplan wanted to do another ultrasound prior to transfer to "evaluate me"... when I asked if it had to do with the bloating she said no... so of course I got worried and thought "CRAP all this and somethings going to be off tomorrow..." I woke up at 3:00am this morning and did laundry and talked with Kenneth (who was up too)... I was restless and couldn't stop worrying/thinking about what today was going to hold... I kept hearing that still small voice saying "It's going to be ok!" and I was holding on to that!! I went to acupuncture at 9:00 and am glad I did - put me in a very relaxed physical and mental state and I came out of there feeling positively and smiling and visualizing everything going very smoothly.

When I got to the clinic at 10:00 we ended up not being taken back until 10:45 (Gail had asked me to get there by 10:15 for my initial u/s eval, the original appointment was 10:30 with 11:30 for transfer). They took us back to the "other" side of the clinic where the embryology dept is, took my weight and had me pee in a cup. Then I went back for the ultrasound. Dr. Kaplan came in a little after 11:00 and did the scan... she said my ovaries are very enlarged and there was a small amount of fluid but not enough for her to take any out. Then they asked the embryologist if they were ready for transfer and holy crap!! I chugged a little of my water, but my ovary was so enlarged it was pushing my uterus into place just fine. Kenneth was with me and we watched those 3 precious possibilities being placed into my womb.

3 of the 4 embabies survived and were dividing well - they said they looked very good. There were 2 4-celled and 1 5-celled (last time we had 3 8-celled); that's all they told me about them; but they seemed happy with how they looked.

Dr. Kaplan said my uterus looks "great"!! Wow!! She's still concerned about my ovaries though, and they sent me home with the hyperstim sheet and things to look for and told me to avoid salt, drink tons of gatorade/fluids, and elevate my feet if possible to help dispurse the fluid.

We stopped for McDonalds fries on the way home and I've been telling the embabies all about how Fiona enjoyed her stay and how I know they will too if they would just snuggle on in - we'll have a great 8 months together!!

I called my IM as soon as we left the clinic (I couldn't believe how quickly they had us in and out of there - and no formal post-transfer instructions!), and gave her the news - she was thrilled to hear we had 3 for transfer which she was excited to hear. Now I will continue to believe, hope, and pray that today a new loved one (or two) for them is just beginning their life...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Counting down the moments!

I am feeling much better today – a little sore in my lower abdomen, but TONS better than yesterday! I am sitting as much as possible and taking it easy, I just want to feel better by the day of transfer. I almost wanted to stay home and rest today, but there’s too much to do at work – and it turns out I’m feeling pretty good so it wouldn’t really have been necessary.

I can’t believe in 48 hours I’ll be pregnant again!! WOW!!

I scheduled acupuncture for an hour after transfer, hopefully that will give us just a little something “extra” to encourage the embies to stick around!

I can’t wait for Friday!! I need to stop at the grocery store and stock up on a few bed rest goodies. I’m tempted to go to Whole Foods and get most of the same things we got last time – for nostalgia and superstitions sake!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Follicular Reduction Done!

The follicular reduction went down this morning, mostly on schedule. I had taken one demerol and one vicodin at 8:00am - so I was feeling pretty good. The clinic didn't give me any more drugs then that, so I was awake and fairly uncomfortable during the procedure. But I'm pretty stoic, so it was ok - the initial "puncture" when the needle went into the ovary surprised me, and there was a lot of pinching feelings, and pressure... but Dr. Kaplan was "in and out" in about 20 minutes total. She took a look at my lining again too (which was the only thing I was really worried about) and said everything was fine.

We're set for an 11:30am transfer on Friday!! (I got my calendar last night and talked over everything with Amy from GRS.)

I took my first medrol and doxy this morning, and start prometrium on Thursday... I got all emotional this afternoon on Kenneth, just can't believe its finally our turn... I am so grateful!!

Right now I am achy/crampy, but I had some pain meds left from my polyp removal procedure, so I took one of those... I feel a little better with each hour that goes by, so I'll probably be stiff but hopefully ok by tomorrow.

The RE left about 3-4 eggs in there to ovulate to help get the natural progesterone going...

Thank you SO MUCH to my friends for being there for me during all the ups and downs - what a ride!!! I pray its JUST beginning!!

Monday, November 17, 2008

What will today bring?

I’m waiting to see what today will bring in terms of a game plan/news from the clinic. Joyce, the nurse who was at the clinic on Sunday set me up for the follicular reduction/egg retrieval on Tuesday at 9:10am. I took my trigger injection last night at about 9:10pm. I was warned the shot would burn, so I numbed my stomach about 4 hours prior with the EMLA cream, I didn’t feel anything during the injection so I kept wondering if I was doing something wrong – but I think the cream just did the trick!! I pushed the fluid REALLY slowly too, so I don’t know if that helped or not. I have a heavy feeling down low today, and woke up with a slightly lower temp than I’ve had the last week or so – so maybe this is the pre-ovulation dip since the hcg should case me to ovulate tomorrow. This is all so new to me, and so different than the cycles I’ve been on before… I have no idea what comes next! I’m hoping I will hear from someone at the clinic soon with all the details on if transfer is going to happen, what meds will I be on, when do I need to start them, when do we know for sure if we’re going to transfer… so many questions and details! T, I, and I are so excited and hopeful! I just cannot wait for it to finally be “real” – to hear that it is going to happen, and then to be there on Friday and be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise)!! I’ve got my wardrobe planned out and everything – going to wear some sweatpants and my “The Doctor Knocked Me Up” shirt – and hopefully get a picture or two for T&I since they won’t get to be here for it all.

They sent me Halloween pictures of Fiona – oh my gosh, she’s the cutest little Red Riding Hood I’ve ever seen!! :) I am so blessed!!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Too good to be true?

I'm being sooo nervously excited... 8.5mm today... triggering tonight... maybe transfer Friday??!?!?!

They're probably doing an egg retrieval on me on Tuesday - I've got too many follicles and they're still worried about me hyperstimming... she said "too numerous to count", I have a ton of small follicles and my estrogen apparently really jumped by today's appt, I didn't get the number though... in any event, I'm hoping to hear the game plan for yeah or nay on transfer by tomorrow once my RE gets a chance to look over everything (another RE did the u/s today)... I'm so excited right now!!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Tomorrow, tomorrow...

Tomorrow is the next "big" ultrasound... it's so close... I do think overall this protocol has been better, but I am so nervous for tomorrow!

I went in today for the diluted hcg injection, it BURNED going in, but was a small sub-q injection - the nurse gave it in my arm.

I don't really have much to add - I'm just nervous for tomorrow and ready to hear if we're going to get the chance this month... we're all so READY for this...

I'm so sleepy - I stayed up late last night, we went to bed at 8:00 but I was up by 9:00 and tried to go to bed around midnight but ended up waking Kenneth up and we talked and watched TV for a couple hours, which was nice... but now I'm extra tired but still feel "wired"... my brain is going a million miles a minute... I'm not sure why, I've just got so much I'm thinking about, I want this transfer to happen so very much.

I've drank a carton of soy milk in the last 2 days, and I hope it helped a little. I just need a little more thickness, and a decent pattern... so close... so close!!

Friday, November 14, 2008

The anticipation may seriously kill me

Today was another ok appointment – thicker lining, at about 6.5-7mm (there is mucous in there again). My follicles are going CRAZY now and are all getting really big, and there are a LOT of them… I didn’t keep track when she was rattling off numbers, but at least 30 if not more, several in the 14-17mm range. She said something to the effect of “Good Lord woman!” when she started the ovary scan… I was cracking up! In any event, they can’t let me go much longer with how big the follicles are. She does not want to trigger me tonight, she said something about letting me coast 1 day (no meds) to see if the endometrium will thicken a little more, and recheck I assume Saturday or Sunday, trigger and transfer mid next week… I’m NERVOUS… I hate all this “what will it look like this time” when I go in for my ultrasounds; the uncertainty is killing me! I’m glad we’re getting there, but at the same time I feel like we’re SO close, let’s just DO IT!!

Dr. Kaplan said she may even want to retrieve a few of the eggs to keep me from hyperstimming, because of how many there are… that would be interesting… at least I’d know what it’s like. The good thing about all of this, is I feel more confident about being able to respond correctly on the meds an ED uses, and able to produce a decent amount of eggs – quality is more important than quantity, but there’s no way to know what kind of quality they are until an actual retrieval is done… just ramblings of my mind after today’s appointment! I am anxiously waiting my instructional phone call – I hope, hope, hope my recheck is VERY soon.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Looking better…

I am scared to say anything at this point, but I had another check today and things are looking better. I have a bazillion (yes that IS a number) follicles and they're actually growing really well now. One is up to a 14mm from 10mm on Monday. My lining had dropped all the way down to a 3.6mm as of Monday, but is up 2mm to a 5.5mm today - so good progress for me. It seems the ganirelix really suppressed me, my follicles weren't growing and so my lining wasn’t getting the estrogen it needed, so I think since I've been off of it a few days my body is recovering and rebounding... I'm waiting for the callback, but will most likely stay on meds with a recheck Friday and if my lining looks ok we'll trigger and transfer mid next week... my IPs are willing to transfer with anything over a 6mm, but I'm not 100% sure what Dr. Kaplan's theory is on that, we will probably verify with her what her thoughts are tomorrow so we're all on the same page before my next check... I'm hopeful... always hopeful...

And it's seriously too bad this isn't an ED cycle - I wish I could donate to someone and then transfer a couple days later - I have a TON of eggies in there.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Hanging in there

So, a lot of ground to catch up on – I had another lining check on Saturday November 1st which was also good – a 7mm grade B+ lining, but follicles were still small. So my follistim was upped and I started ganirelix to keep me from ovulating, and took one more dose of Estradiol Valerate. At my next check on Tuesday the 4th my lining decreased to a 5.6mm, follicles weren’t really growing still (they were at about 7mm I think). Upped follistim again, and rechecked on Friday the 7th. Lining was down to a 4mm but follicles had grown a little (I think she said most were at about an 8mm at that point). I have 20 on the right and 10 on the left (too bad this isn’t an egg donor cycle)! My estrogen had decreased, and it seems to be the reason Dr. Kaplan wants to check at least once more. She stopped the ganirelix (which she said was probably suppressing me and keeping the follicles from growing/keeping the estrogen from being produced to support my lining).

I have another lining/follicle check this morning, after being on 3 days of 225 units of follistim. I’ve felt some twinging over the last couple days, and had EWCM, but have no clue if that means anything or nothing at all… I am having a hard time imagining that after all this time and 2 decreases in a row that my lining will have rebounded – but I’m not giving up yet… hopeful… I’m always hopeful!