Friday, June 29, 2007

What Is Going On Tonight (36w2d)?

Maybe nothing - maybe similar to last Friday's fatigue episode resulting in funky symptoms - but it started this afternoon. I am feeling hot and clammy (was sweating earlier) but my temp is lower than normal (at about 98.0-98.3), I've had quite a few mild contractions, and those slowed down, and now about every 15 minutes or so I am having somewhat more painful, or at least noticeable ones. I have very little appetite especially this evening, but am very thirsty. I threw up earlier this afternoon before I left work, just feeling nauseated. I've had a TON of pressure down low, and would be really surprised if I'm NOT dilated a little more!

I have this NEED to get my house in order! Kent and I have spent the last hour plus washing rugs, scrubbing his bathroom, washing his shower curtain, folding and putting away laundry, vacuuming and spot cleaning the carpet, vacuuming the kitchen floor, doing dishes, hanging clothes... etc.!! I had him pack an overnight bag too, for whether he comes with me to the hospital or needs to go spend a night or two with family...

I am tired, but not ready to stop until I have everything tidied up!! I am glad its the weekend, I can sleep in and rest tomorrow, after I get all this stuff done!! :) I mainly have my bathroom and general tidying in the kitchen left to do, the house really isn't that bad - I feel like I'm in Spring Clean mode!! I am contributing part of it to the fact that I found out last night Kenneth will be home on the 5th, and I feel like I want to get things ready for him too... Maybe that's all it is?! I don't know, I suppose only time will tell! :)

Thursday, June 28, 2007

36 week Ultrasound and OB Appointment

Everything is going well! :)

The u/s was in the morning; Miss Munchkin is a good girl and is head down, and measuring on track at about 5lbs 11oz. She was wiggly and unhappy with the u/s tech pressing the wand down on her and let me know all about it!! We got a GREAT picture of her adorable little face using the 3-D scanner. I was in and out of there pretty quickly since the doctor wasn't in to go over the pictures with me. I got a call later from them that they want me back in next week for a biophysical - I don't know what that is or why though, so I have to find out! :)

The OB appointment went well too - weight gain is steady, no protein in my urine, and her little heartbeat sounded great in the 140s-150s. I got the chance to ask a few questions and get better prepared. With this being delivery #2 they want me at the hospital either as soon as my water breaks, or when contractions are steady at 8-10 minutes apart. They also don't have any problems with me laboring in the water as long as there is no meconium present. I am planning to labor in the shower and tub as much as possible for pain relief, so that was good to know!

They did a blood draw and took a couple cultures, and the midwife did an internal check and I am a "loose 1", soft but still thick and she could feel the baby's head!! Woo Hoo!! A little activity! :) (As of Friday I was still "long, thick, and closed" when they checked at the Hospital.)

Today I am loosing quite a bit of mucous, I am assuming its part of my mucous plug - and feeling a bit of pressure. I don't think I'm going into labor immediately, but I just have that feeling that its going to be soon (really, she needs to bake at least another week so I hope this doesn't progress too much between now and next Wednesday)!

I have this intense urge to get EVERYTHING cleaned up as though each day were my last day at work, and each hour my last hour at home. It's good to be prepared, I just hope that labor isn't really 4 or 5 weeks off and my body clock is all screwy! :) With my son, this happened right before, so I keep wondering if it will happen soon!

I've been baking like crazy too - chocolate chip cookies the other day, and I made fudge last night! Yummy!! I had to take most of both to work or else I will eat it all and gain 20 more lbs! :)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

35w6d Great Phone Call With IPs! :)

I am doing the wiggly dance - 36 weeks tomorrow! I can't tell you how excited I am as the days tick by! I only get more and more excited about this journey, more excited about what the future will hold, more excited about labor!! (Can you imagine?!)

IM called tonight and we had a great conversation - it was really good to talk with her, we've spoken quite a bit this month and I have really enjoyed that!! I think she is so ready for this baby girl to make her appearance, she'd be happy if it was tomorrow!! But, at the same time she knows she should bake for another week so we're at least to full term - but I think after that she's gonna be watching the calendar closely and be waiting for THE phone call! :) Of course, I will be too - I can't wait to make that phone call!!

I haven't had many, if any, real contractions up to this point, so I keep wondering if I'm going to have any false labor or if when contractions come if it will be the real thing! I of course hope it will be the real thing... I've had a few weird pangs and pains, but I'm pretty sure none of them recently have been Braxton Hicks or anything like that.

I have an ultrasound tomorrow at 9:00am - I can't wait to peek in and make sure she's head down, and hear how big she's gotten!! My OB appt is tomorrow afternoon, so I am looking forward to the latest (not the weigh in, its just ridiculous at this point)!! :) I just want to hear how I'm measuring and if I'm dilated at all, and make sure my blood pressure is good and that there's no protein in my urine.

I've gotten pretty worn out lately with working, and IM and I talked about it briefly on the phone - they would be ok with me taking time off, but I'm not ready to do that yet - just seems like an uneccessary expense for them just because I'm a little extra tired!! I have this Wednesday off due to my appts, and next Wednesday off due to the 4th of July Holiday and I think taking it as easy as possible both of those days will REALLY help get me through these two weeks, so we'll see how I feel that 2nd week in July - that will be week 38 and Kenneth will be home so I might want to take a vacation day or two anyway to spend some time with him!

Anyhow, we're getting there day by day... I'm feeling good for the most part other than a rough day or two or morning/afternoon every now and then! :) (This morning I was feeling super grumpy, but I'm feeling much better by this afternoon!!)

Ok, I'll wrap this up - I am getting so chatty as we get closer to the finish line!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

35 weeks 2 days - my visit to L&D!

Well I woke up today feeling extra fatigued, but didn't think too much of it since it is afterall Friday - my toughest day of the week because I'm tired from the week! When I got to work I noticed I felt a little fuzzy headed in addition to tired, but when I really started wondering what was going on was around 10:30 or 11:00 when I realized I hadn't really eaten, and wasn't all that hungry (very unusual for me) in addition to having had several episodes of white spots in my vision, feeling very fuzzy headed, just "off", and I was feeling hot. I ate some food, to see if it was maybe a blood sugar issue, but that just made me nauseated. I called my OB and they told me I needed to go get my Blood Pressure checked as soon as possible to make sure it wasn't high which is what some of my symptoms sounded like and can be dangerous.

I hung out a little longer just to see what was going to happen and if it would go away, but when I got nauseated again after lunch and was feeling steadily worse and not better I decided to drive the 5 minutes to Northside (I am SO glad such a good hospital is so close to my office)!! They checked me in, hooked me up, tried twice to do a blood draw unsuccessfully, took a urine sample and then took my blood pressure 3 or 4 times every 15 minutes. My b/p was fine at about 108/61 so that was ruled out, and it took a full 3.5 hours but my urine came back fine as well. I was running a low grade temp, and my nurse suggested perhaps I am coming down with a flu that's been going around... They monitored Miss Munchkin's heart rate and her activity level which were both just fine so they let me go on home and just said to take it easy, see my doctor next Wednesday and that's it!

I am glad its nothing serious, but I'm still feeling really sick this evening - icky and tired. I have napped the last couple hours, and am ready to head to bed and see how a full nights sleep has me feeling tomorrow!!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

So Many Thoughts...

So here we are at the (practically) 35 week mark... D-Day seems to be approaching with lightning speed! My IPs and I had e-mailed very briefly about me pumping for Miss M but we hadn't talked about it since, so in my e-mail on Monday I pointed them to a thread on SMO with all the shipping/supplies info and asked if they were still interested and said I'd look into the cost of pump rentals from the hospital, etc. if they wanted me to. I figured IM would be calling to talk about that - I don't think IF is terribly comfortable talking to me about breast milk!! Anyhow, IM called on my way home last night and we caught up a little and she always asks how I'm feeling and how active is little "F" and am I tired, etc. The we talked a little about pumping, and she was just so sweet about it - from what she was saying it seemed she wanted to make sure I knew that if I needed an "out" I had one, she is worried that pumping will be a hard reminder to me of the baby being so far away. I tried to assure her that although I can't KNOW how I'll feel, I think it will be something I will feel really proud of! And it will be beneficial to all of us, so I'm excited about it! A little worried about fitting it into my work schedule when I go back full time, but still I really am excited to pump for her and give her that extra something from me!

We talked about the hospital stay, I got a little sad when I realized that they are planning to leave the day "F" is released from the hospital. They don't want to keep her at a hotel because of germs, and aren't even planning to stop on their drive home back to NJ!! WOW!! Anyhow, I'm glad I know that know, so I can enjoy my day with them and with her as much as possible...

IM and I had hung up, but then she called back and we talked more about a possible sibling project - which is again something that had been touched on once via e-mail but never really explored (I figured we both would want some time afterwards anyways to get back into our routines, so I haven't been worried about having that discussion.) Anyhow, she was so sweet and was saying that they have a lot to figure out about when/if they can pursue another surrogacy but it seems that she's leaning towards it - they have 4 frozen embies and she feels a real sense of responsibility to at least give them a chance! She said she'd like to see how things are going with "F", and maybe talk about it again in August - but she's looking at about 9 months out which is a good time frame for me, she said "I don't want you to sign with anyone else!" I told her I am happy to wait for them - this journey has been just beautiful for me... very laid back... Everything has gone super smoothly with the financial aspects, and they've always done everything in their power to reduce my stress and take on all the battles themselves. They are just wonderful people whom I have been so blessed to work with and to get to know... I am getting emotional thinking back on our year plus together!! We went through so many ups and downs with cycling, and I was sure they were going to move on and wouldn't have blamed them for a second! But they stuck with me, and I am so grateful, and they have been nothing but appreciative and thoughtful this entire journey... I wish we were closer together, and that they could have been there for an ultrasound or two, and seen her wiggly antics in my belly, but other than those things everything has been ideal.

I guess as I approach the "finish line" I am just looking back and reminiscing on this journey, everything that has lead us to this moment, wondering what the future might hold, and feeling so grateful... grateful to my IPs for sticking with me and being so amazing throughout the journey, and so grateful to the surrogacy community I've found on SMO for all the support and advice along the way... I can't imagine having gone through this journey without them!

I know I just wrote a novel, I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to get down!

My final thoughts for my beautiful little surro baby girl, as we share our last few weeks together... know you have touched every part of my heart and soul, and I will forever love you for the miracle you are! What a blessing your life has already been to SO many, and you have so much ahead of you! I wish you nothing but peace, joy, and true happiness in your life - may you follow your heart and your dreams knowing you are loved and supported in your pursuits. I am thankful to your parents, for allowing me to be a small part of your beginning, and am so very excited to see you finally with them - where you belong! Your mommy has been dreaming about you for a long time! Your spunky little personality has already shown through as you've grown inside of me, and I look forward with happiness and excitement to watching you grow into the young lady you will become! I am so proud, so very, very proud, to be able to say I was your surrogate mother; no matter the miles, the distance, you will always be close to me in my heart and I will love you always.

And for fun - a picture of my swollen feet from 6/16/07 (on the left is the "dent" from where I pushed down so you could see how puffy they are!):

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Sleeping Good?!!

The last two nights I've been reading and walking on my treadmill (slowly) for about a half hour right before bed - and I have slept like a LOG!!! It's been so great!! I am hoping the two are connected, because if they are that's something I can definitely keep up!

I'm also practicing a relaxation method I read about in my Bradley Birthing method book; that feels good and helps me off to sleep as well!

Yesterday was my birthday, so Kent and I went to dinner together at Longhorn and I had a VERY yummy Flo's Filet with mashed potatoes and then managed a few bites of the ultimate brownie sundae (which was HEAVENLY but SOOO rich)!! I was stuffed! It was a very nice meal and fun to go on a "date" with my little man!

He's spending some time with his great-grandmother today, and tonight the real estate agents come and I am "officially" taking our house off the market. It hasn't shown once, and its too stressful (especially with Kenneth gone) to try to keep everything in "walk through" condition by myself! Too much to do... anyhow, with the market being so weird right now, we're happy to just stay put for the time being.

I had a great chat with my IM last night, they are SO sweet and sent the most beautiful birthday card and a very generous gift! Anyhow, IM and I were catching up and she said she'd had another dream that the birth was going to be quick with a short labor... she also told me her friend thought I would deliver on the 27th so I said "Wait!! I don't want to go over-due!!" and she said, "No, the 27th of JUNE!!" I said wait a minute, that would only be 36 weeks! Let's hope that one doesn't come true, and that maybe her feeling has something to do with the ultrasound and OB appointments I have that day... It would be fine to hear I'm starting to dilate, or that things are looking like I might start laboring soon, but this little bug needs to stay snuggled in at LEAST until 37 weeks! :) (Which is July 4th)!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

PBO is in process!

I spoke to the attorney last night which was nice; she was a very sweet lady. They are targeting June 20th to have the PBO all finalized which is terrific!! A month out is a good time frame.

She said the local Atlanta counsel would be in touch in the next day or so regarding getting the affidavits to me and Kenneth to sign (before he heads out for a month), so I'm hoping she calls today; I do have a Power of Attorney for Kenneth if I need to use it - but it would be much better if he could just sign it himself!

I also learned that Lyn has already been in touch with the hospital once to fill them in on the details of the surrogacy, and will be in touch between now and delivery to try to ensure that whoever is on the staff during our delivery knows what's going on and who the parents are. That was good to know that's not all on my shoulders!

Things are moving along! :)

Monday, June 04, 2007

32.5 week OB Appointment

I had my OB appointment today and saw the midwife which I always like! She just has a great attitude about pregnancy, and isn't quite as... "clinical" I guess, as my OB. Don't get me wrong, I like my OB a lot, I think he just looks at and responds to the facts and numbers more so than the midwife. :)

My BP was 100/70 which was fine, I did have a trace amount of protein in my urine and was told to drink more water! I do drink a fair amount, but I guess there's always room for more! It's warming up around here too, so I've been thirsty more often which is a good reminder to drink water.

I've now gained about 30 lbs this pregnancy! I cannot believe I've gained that much, but I refuse to stress out about it. I will concentrate on that after I deliver and getting the extra weight back off. For now, I will concentrate on the fact that the baby is happy and healthy, I am eating a balanced and healthy diet and that's really all I can control!

My achy hips and thighs are just normal third trimester stuff; its not every day - I have good days and bad days. Overall I've been feeling really good so I'm certainly not complaining! I am more fatigued lately, but that's to be expected as well! Kenneth heads out for a month on Sunday, so I plan to take advantage of his time away as much as possible by just resting in the afternoons and taking it easy on the weekends. I will miss him a lot, but I am finding the positives where I can!

I can't believe I've only got 7 weeks left until I hit my due date!! 3 weeks from now I think its really going to hit me. I need to pack my hospital bag in the next couple weeks and get that in my car to be prepared. With my long commute between home and work and the hospital in the middle, I know there won't be time to run home and put things in order!