Wednesday, July 26, 2006

HSG Complete - Half way through Mock Cycle

Well!! It's been awhile since I updated! I've kind of taken a break from posting and obsessing about the surrogacy so much, just to give myself a breather from the disappointment, and because at this point I really have NO idea what's next! :)

I started my period on the morning of July 18th, with 2 doses of Provera left to go! My body kicked in early. Fran had a consult with Dr. Choe the next day, and Dr. Choe recommended I have the HSG done to make sure hydrosalpinx weren't the cause of the fluid last time. So, that means that this cycle was a bust anyway, since you can't transfer the same month as putting contrast and iodine into your cervix/uterus. So, Fran suggested we do a mock this month, as well as the HSG.

The HSG was done yesterday afternoon, I will know the official results by next Tuesday, but the Doctor said from the procedure he thinks everything looks fine, all clear. That was a relief! It was funny, when I told Kenneth he seemed genuinely relieved to hear that, which I wasn't expecting. I figured he'd be happy if I had to have my tubes taken out, then the option of having more children down the line would be taken away and he wouldn't have to worry about me pestering him about it like I do every now and then! Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't be doing a surrogacy journey if I wasn't completely happy with my family the way it is, and we don't have "plans" to have more children, just every now and then I think about it and wish Kenneth wanted another child too.

So, the procedure was fine, not even as bad as the saline sonohysterogram I had 2 months ago - I was a TEENY bit crampy that evening, but nothing even right after the procedure. It was uncomfortable for about 60 seconds while the put the contrast in, but that was it! I was happy about that!

Kenneth might be home this evening, or tomorow afternoon but leaves again on Friday morning for 2 more weeks, then he should be back at least until late fall (Oct/Nov) before leaving for 3 more months of Comm school. Hopefully he'll be able to find a decent job in the mean time, since he won't be able to take a semester at college like we'd hoped, since that wouldn't end until December and he'll most likely be at training by then!

I'm on Estrace right now, I started my 3 pills a day for 4 days yesterday, so I do that for 2 more days, start 4 pills a day on the 29th, and on August 2nd I go for blood and u/s to check my lining and estrogen levels, and we'll see where we're at! If there's fluid again, the idea is to continue on with progesterone, and recheck I think 2-4 days later to see if the fluid goes away after progesterone is started. I'm, of course, hoping and praying there won't be any fluid this time!!! :)

Monday, July 17, 2006

Just a Quick Check In!

Not too much to report, we're just coasting through the next 3 days on Provera and seeing what happens after that!! Kenneth is still up in the air as to if/when he's coming home. He had an itinerary to come home tomorrow, but found out today that they are changing his MOS so that he can come back to the unit - long convoluted story, but he will become a Rigger, and has to go to Jump School and Rigger School, both of which are in Georgia - so he'll be close by, but we have no idea when the schools will start. It will most likely keep him from going to the Fall Semester at KSU. I just can't wait to find out what's next! I want him home, I miss him so very much, and knowing he'll be home soon, but not knowing when is like torture! :)

So, not too much in terms of surrogacy to report - I've spoken to the Life Insurance company a couple times, they said I should hear back in the next 1-2 weeks, and we'll go from there on whether I have to apply somewhere else or if that will be one more thing to check off the to-do list!! :)

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Canceled - Regrouping for August

Well, I've put off this entry, but here it is. On Saturday (July 8th) I had a re-check and yes, my lining made it to 8mm but my uterine cavity was fluid filled. Not a good environment to transfer little embies into, so we were canceled. I was so bummed!! It was really hard for me to make that call to my IPs and let them know. I know they are very disappointed as well. It's hard to want this so much and to have my body be the reason we aren't moving forward right now... I know I didn't do anything wrong, but to some degree I still feel like I did. Fran will have a chart review with Dr. Cho (I believe that's who she said) this week to determine what needs to be changed next time around, but I believe the change will include taking more of the Estrace vaginally as opposed to orally. We all just want it to come together so very much. To keep things in perspective, I keep telling myself I'd MUCH rather have a canceled cycle than a failed one.

I had to cancel Kent's plane ticket, and will have to go into work tomorrow and Thursday, and I'll take Friday off since my sister is still here. She will hang out with Kent the next couple days. After how much activity we've crammed into the past 4 1/2 days, I kind of think the down time might be relaxing and nice for her!! We've done SO much running around, eating out, and shopping!! It's been tons of fun!! But I'm definitely worn out! I'm ready for a good nights sleep.

So, currently I'm taking Provera along with a 2mg Estrace tablet daily - which will go on for 10 days total, my last pill being taken on July 19th; that should help induce a period which should come about 3-4 days later and then we start again with CD2 blood and u/s and go from there. I guess I'll get a meds calendar in about a week or so, and see what changes were made. The best thing for me to do is just stay positive and relaxed, so that's what I plan on doing! I'm gearing up for an August 9th transfer and can't wait to see my IPs next month. Have I mentioned that they are the BEST IPs a GS could hope for? They really are. I just can't tell you how supportive, encouraging, and just wonderful they have been especially during this disappointment. I can't wait to help them make their dreams of a child in their arms come true... It is such a blessing to be their surrogate.

On a side note - we took Tiger to his new owners this past Sunday; he will have a loving new home and I feel great about it! We will miss his playful antics, but I feel so good about honoring T&I's wishes (even though it took longer than I imagine we'd both hoped) and knowing Tiger has a loving, GOOD family to reside with!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Minor Delay!

Well, my lining was at a 7.6mm with the triple stripe, and a little fluid at the very top, my estradiol was 1,177 if I remember correctly. When Cooper called back at 5:15pm they said that it wasn't quite thick enough, they want it at an 8mm; so I increased my estrace by 1 additional pill and will go for a recheck on Saturday.

IM and I had a wonderful talk last night, and she went in to more detail about their long journey to get to this point in their surrogacy pursuit, and how it had all started with a recurring dream of her little girl asking to be born... It was really touching to me, and I had such a sense of peace after we hung up about things happening for a reason, and when the timing is right things will fall into place!!

So, Ruth will be here tonight, I should have a blood and u/s tomorrow at RBA, and hopefully all will be well, and we'll head out on Tuesday instead!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

What's The Magic Number??

I will know in less than TWELVE hours!! I am so excited to hear what my lining is at - I just know it must be good, and the numbers 8 and 12 have stuck in my head... I would be happy with anything in between!! This is a short one, just wanted to post my predictions and let off some of this steam - I'm SOO excited!! :)

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Remember to BREATH!

Ok, so it looks like that letter I got was a false alarm - I'm still waiting for the final all clear, but I spoke to Fran this morning and we went over the requests they'd sent and she said only 1 test on there actually needed to be performed (the Toxo test) which she is 99% sure we already did while I was at Cooper, and the rest are, as she put it, antiquated and not done anymore. Whoever checked my records must be using outdated information - that was her best guess. So, she has her assistant looking into it just to verify that everything is ok, but I think we're ok!!

I called and left a voicemail for T&I after I spoke to Fran and apologized for the upset and worrying them, and T called back and we chatted for a minute. They are just so sweet - they want me to call if I need anything and we're all very much looking forward to Thursday and getting the final thumbs up and green light for Monday! None of us can believe that this event we've been looking forward to and working towards for so long is SO close... it's been this distant point on the horizon and we can actually see it coming into view... It's just thrilling and almost unbelievable!

So, I'm reminding myself to breath, and that things really are coming together, and I have wonderful IPs and a wonderful coordinator, and between us all we'll get things taken care of and worked out. It was really cool to see how quickly both T&I and Fran reacted to work on solving the problem. I just felt bad to interrupt Fran on her vacation... Anyhow! I think that this issue will resolve itself, and we can get on with the journey!! YAY!

HAPPY 4th of JULY!! Kent and I are going to head over to Kenneth's grandmother's home in a few minutes for a nice family get together, than its back home for an afternoon of CLEANING!! Time to get ready for Ruth's visit. My Father In Law is out playing with my lawnmower right now, and he brought his Grasshopper over and mowed my yard, which was SUPER nice of him - now I won't have to mess with it for 2-3 weeks. YAY!

Monday, July 03, 2006


Today is Monday, July the 3rd, in 3 days I will have my lining check and get the thumbs up that all is well and we can transfer, then 4 days later I will be in New Jersey having our transfer!! I am SO excited! I just can't believe we're at the 1 week mark!! I'm happy dancing all day long in my head! Sometimes I feel like I'm in shock, sometimes I wonder is this really happening, and sometimes I'm just bouncing off the wall and talking a mile a minute.

We get to go see fireworks with Kenneth's family tonight - which will be wonderful! I love the firework displays and always feel like a kid again when I watch them. Kent will enjoy them too - and maybe we can get some icecream afterwards. (Last year we parked in the Dairy Queen parking lot, because we couldn't get any closer, but the view ended up being great, and I got a Blizzard)!

Tomorrow is the 4th of July - and hopefully my father-in-law will be able to come over and check out the riding lawn mower, which I apparently broke yesterday (the first time I've tried to use it since Kenneth left)! That was fabulously frustrating! My yard looks ridiculous too - half mowed in the front, half shaggy!

My sister, Ruth, will be here this Friday... so my schedule is a little crazy, but will keep me rocking and rolling until transfer and will make the time FLY by!

Thursday - 7:15am appt at RBA for lining check and bloodwork, get call back that evening.
Friday - AM First PIO injection, Ruth arrives that evening at 7:30pm
Saturday - AM go to company picnic at Six Flags, head home by 4pm, bake goodies for IPs and pack
Sunday - 8:30am drive to airport, flight arrives in Philadelphia at 1:30pm, 3:30pm meet Christine (chrismommy from SMO), 6pm meet up with T&I and Fran and her husband for dinner
Monday - (hopefully AM) TRANSFER, bedrest
Tuesday - bedrest
Wednesday - 3:30pm bloodwork and u/s, flight leaves at 7:49pm.

Good news about Tiger (our stray kitty) - he has a new home! A colleague of a former colleague of a co-worker of mine said she would love to take Tiger home; she has a 1-year old kitty she found as a stray and adopted, and said her kitty could use a playmate! I was VERY relieved that Tiger will have a good home to go to - so in the mean time I have had Kent empty the litter box, and put it in the guest bedroom and stayed away from it.

I guess that's it until Thursday! :)

11:00PM Update
Well, I am confused and stunned right now, and don't know exactly how this is going to work out - but I received a mailed letter, sent last Friday, from Cooper saying I have to have 3 additional blood tests, and Kenneth needs a urine sample done for 2 additional tests. I can't tell you how frustrated I am that they waited until SEVEN days before our transfer to tell me this - and they didn't even call or fax the request, they snail-mailed it! Kenneth is in San Antonio, and logistically I am temporarily at a loss as to how to even get the test taken much less get results to the clinic in time. As for me, the labs are all closed down tomorrow for the Holiday, so I won't even be able to go in until Wednesday... ONE day before my lining check, and I have no idea how long results take, especially with a weekend in there. I sent T&I an e-mail to give them a heads up... I really feel mostly frustrated and confused as to how this happened.

I'm anxiously waiting Fran's reply. The thing that bothers me too, is the paperwork asks for a current papsmear, when I had my OB's office send one from this past winter a month ago, and Fran said she had it!! I'm trying not to pull my hair out. I guess the worst case scenario is we get bumped back by another month... I suppose that wouldn't be the end of the world - but it will cost me to transfer Kent's airline ticket dates - that would be the extent of the financial damage.

Anyhow, I'm trying to take deep breaths and assure myself everything happens for a reason.

On a positive note - Kent and I really enjoyed the fireworks display tonight in Kennesaw, it was just beautiful!