Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Update on us...

Vicki got the news yesterday that John's appointment results were not what we all hoped for, the S.A. count showed 5 million sperm, normal motility, and only 1% morphology. He was also diagnosed with variocele, but too small to operate on. The RE wants him to continue taking the fertility blend and re-test him in 6 months. She told them IVF with ICSI is possibly their best chance.

That was some pretty heavy news to hear, and Vicki and I talked a lot back and forth yesterday about the short term and long term future and checked in again this AM to see where things were at. It could change, but right now I think we're looking about taking a year or more off for John to take the meds and see what improvements can be made and also they are looking at IVF as the next step and want the extra time to think about that and save towards that as that is a big shift financially and otherwise from where we are right now.

I have already told Vicki that I am not going anywhere, I'm not looking for another match, I am their surrogate (as long as they want me) whether its now, or a year or more from now. I am so lucky and blessed that she found me, and that every day more and more I think of Vicki as my friend first and my IM second.

I am so sorry that things have not come as easily as we'd expected and hoped, and wish I could help make things easier for them, but I trust in the future when the time is right we will be able to work together to help create a miracle or two for them!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Good Weekend!

It was a fun and busy weekend and I can't believe it's Monday again already!!

Saturday I left the house at about 6:00am and drove over to where Vicki was meeting me, and we went and picked Rochelle up and stopped at Chick Fil A for some breakfast then headed into Atlanta. We found a place to park and walked down to the Centennial Olympic Park where the March of Dimes March for Babies walkers were congregating! We registered and dropped off our fundraising sheets, got our t-shirts and then Deb and her crew arrived so we walked over to help her get the babies in the stroller (Deb has quads through GS who will be 2 next month)! It was so great to see her again and the walk was really great - the babies did awesome and we only had 1 minor meltdown which a brief break in the shade for some drinks, snacks and TLC from mom smoothed over, and then Vicki, Deb, and I each carried Aza a little for the rest of the walk (it was less than a mile from that point). We certainly got plenty of attention with the quads!! It was funny to me how shocked everyone was, but Deb was obviously very used to it!

My feet were sore after the walk, but I felt pretty good and the only thing still a little sore are my hips! My arms hurt a little yesterday from carrying Aza too. I really need to start doing my P90X program again! Depending on when we're cycling again next, and Kenneth's training schedule, I am hoping to start it back up soon!

We all stopped for lunch at the Olive Garden on the way home, I was so hungry!! I love Olive Garden salad - that stuff is addicting... I was thrilled that when I got home the boys were both in a good mood and had a good day together! That evening we all went out and Kent got to use the riding mower for the first time, and Kenneth and I walked laps with him for a while until he got it, then we stayed in the yard with him while he got it more than half way done and I finished it. We had him on super slow speed and it was taking forever, poor guy looked like he was about to fall asleep! :)

The Dinner A'Fare meals have been such a blessing! Man it makes dinner easy to figure out! We had Steak Fajitas Saturday night, and a Maple Glazed Pork Tenderloin last night, and I have an Argentinian Grilled Flank Steak in the fridge thawing for dinner tonight! Kenneth says I've been feeding him "too much pig"! :D I think only 3 of the dinners have been pork so far, but apparently its seemed like a lot - so he requested red meat tonight.

I wanted to work on my recipe book project so bad this weekend, but just ran out of time. It just felt like a good weekend to spend some time looking through my cooking magazines and pulling out the recipes I want and adding them to my collection. One of these days I'm going to take that book I've been piecing together and make it electronic - that will be awesome! I am such a recipe collector! Now I just need to make the time to actually try a few of them out... :D I was realizing with The Dinner A'Fare meals, I really won't need to cook that often at all - but I'm sure I'll take a month off from TDA every now and then. Or maybe I will just have to do my own home version every now and then, prepping and freezing items. It's so convenient, and makes me very glad we have that deep freezer. Except for fresh items, I could probably not grocery shop for 2-3 months at this point. The pantry and freezer are both very full. It is kind of a goal of mine to NOT grocery shop for at least the next 2 months except for milk, eggs, fresh fruit and veggies and see how much of a dent we make! :)

This weekend was just beautiful, the sun was shining and most of the time we had a good breeze, I hope it stays warm!

Friday, April 24, 2009


I am so glad it's Friday... I am not feeling my best today and am ready to go home and collapse for awhile! I stayed home sick yesterday because of what the doctor said is a UTI/bladder infection of some sort. There was blood and white cells in my urine and she put me on antibiotics for a week. Today I am moody and really tired, and I ate too much at lunch so overall BLAH!! :D

I saw eggwhite cervical mucous for the first time today, so I'm hoping ovulation is very close and doesn't get pushed off because of this infection and the antibiotics I'm taking. It would be nice to be on some sort of routine again!

I can't believe we're only 1 week away from May! WOW! This month really went by quickly!

Tomorrow is the March for Babies, and I'm a little nervous about the walk and being out of shape, but we'll be with Deb and the quads (depending on how they're all feeling tomorrow) so I know we'll be taking it nice and easy!

I guess I don't have too much to update on, just wanted to whine about not feeling well a little I guess... :D

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Results Came Back

We heard back Monday evening the results from the Semen Analysis, and John's count was down to 8 million from 10 million previously. We were all pretty bummed to hear the news, and John & Vicki are meeting with the RE today I think to discuss options, and suggestions to help improve the count, etc. Other than count, the analysis results were good (motility, etc.) so I know we'll get there eventually! :) I'm frustrated all the more with Dr. H. though, that he won't do the IUI with less than 20 million because I know people have gotten pregnant with lower counts than we're working with right now and I feel like we should at least be allowed to TRY while we're working to increase the count as well. Time goes quickly though, so I know it won't be long 'til we're able to cycle again - maybe next month, but maybe the one after probably depending on what the RE recommends and how things go when the next analysis is done. Georgia's laws preventing home insems are pretty frustrating for us all right about now! :)

Today I get to go out and take a tour at Lake Lanier where we'll be having our company picnic, and I'm looking forward to that! I've never seen it before and can't wait to see the layout of our pavilion.

Kent's CRCT testing starts today, and I forgot when my alarm went off first that I was supposed to get up to go make him breakfast so I ended up making us fairly late to leave the house - but he got a nice hot meal and I hope it gives him a little extra energy/brain boost for the testing! :) They've been practicing a lot at school and he's been doing well, and seems pretty confident this time around so I am sure he'll do great! He just needs to remember to take his time and really read the questions, he likes to rush through things!

We're trying another Dinner A'Fare meal tonight! I love that thanks to all these meals you have to thaw out in advance, I am finally making weekly meal plans and sticking to them - it has been so nice to KNOW what I'm fixing each night and know I have everything I need to fix it without having to stop at the grocery store for this or that or realizing while I'm cooking that I don't have everything I need!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Happy Monday!

Well, as happy as Monday can be! :)

I didn't have a great start to my day, but so far Monday is going pretty well for me otherwise... it's already afternoon and I'll get to go home in about 3 hours...

We had a crazy fun and busy weekend. I met with Vicki for a quick breakfast on Saturday morning and then we went over to The Dinner A'Fare and prepped our meals (can't wait to try some of them out!! Kenneth's already requested the Steak Fajitas for Friday). Kent came too, and I let him play his Nintendo DS while we worked on our meals. Then we went home, packed up the Focus and gave the dogs an early dinner and relaxed a little. We headed out around 2:00pm which was right on schedule, and my brain must have been left at home because from that point forward there were a series of mishaps!! I drove past where I wanted to go and forgot what I was doing which added time onto the errands (I had to stop to pick up lunch at Zaxby's, get gas at Sam's Club, and grab some beer and munchies at Target). It ended up taking me 40 minutes to do those three things, when they are all practically next door to each other! And my drink got spilled all over my lap when we went through Zaxby's drive through, so I had to go into Target with a wet rear end and had a lovely diet coke stain on my jeans... So, eventually Kent and I get on the road and we were moving along pretty well. I had directions from googling the address and mapquesting it. They were wrong. The directions took me to a lawyer's office in down town Macon. I called Kenneth and after driving in a big circle finally found the right street to turn on, and after a couple illegal turns I was headed in the right direction! I was relieved to finally see him on the side of the road! From there we headed on towards Hampton for the Poker Tournament. We ran into some crappy traffic, but Kenneth knew his way around and soon we were on our way again. We arrived about an hour late, but it looked like they hadn't been playing long. The room was PACKED!! It was crazy! I set Kent up on a futon just outside the main game room with his DS and some snacks and crawled over some people to get into a back room where the "non-Poker people" were hanging out. There were 4 of us that ended up playing a very fun game of Phase 10! It was a great evening, and other than Kent spilling soda all over the futon it went pretty well!!

Sunday we took it very easy, I didn't get up until 11:00 - Kenneth brought me breakfast in bed...!! We watched some TV and napped a little in the living room too, Kent was SO grumpy all day - I think he was really tired. He went to bed right after dinner (ricotta stuffed chicken from the dinner a'fare - YUMMY!) and seemed to be feeling better this morning! They start CRCT testing on Wednesday, so he'll be getting extra sleep this week and I'll probably get up to make him a hot breakfast on the days of the tests.

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Dinner A'Fare

As you may have read already, I am very excited about the Dinner A'Fare, and have been enjoying fast and easy dinner prep ever since my first visit a couple weeks ago! They have a blog too, which I will be reading for meal tips

So far we've tried the Pasta Florentine, Greek Chicken Pitas and Barbeque Pulled Pork Sandwiches.

I still have the following left to try from March!:
Ricotta Stuffed Chicken with Roasted Red Pepper Sauce
South of the Border Pork Tenderloin
Italian Sirloin Croquettes with Garlic Tomato Sauce
Massaman Curry Shrimp
Mongolian Beef Noodle Bowls
Chicken Gumbo
Cuban Style Piñón
Crispy Ranch Chicken
Argentinean Grilled Flank Steak with Black Bean Vinaigrette

It kind of surprises me we haven't used more than 3 so far, but I guess I am trying to stretch them a little, and not use them up too quickly. After tomorrow's session my freezer is going to be full! :D

I'm getting:
Maple Glazed Pork Roast with Golden Raisin Compote
Rustic Chicken and Potato Gratine
Steak Diane
Jerk Pork Tenderloin with Pineapple Chutney
Sun-Dried Tomato Torta di Pasta
Italian Braciole Stuffed Flank Steak
Chicken with Mushroom Alfredo
Steak Fajitas
Hawaiian Chicken
Sofrito Pork with Saffron Rice
Mushroom and Swiss Turkey Burgers
Crispy Asian Chicken Rolls

I think these first couple months will be good to try as many different recipes as sound good, and discover which ones we as a family all enjoy, and then make more of the ones we really like each time once I start seeing repeats on the menu.

So far, the pasta florentine didn't go over great because there was a high spinach content!! I should have remembered to leave most of that out, because the pasta itself was YUMMY! The pork BBQ sandwiches were a SNAP to prepare (and I had leftovers for the side dishes, so dinner took all of 15 minutes from start to finish) and were very tasty, but the meat needed some honey (we like sweet BBQ). The greek pitas were awesome, I thought, and man they smelled great cooking. Kenneth isn't a big olive fan, so I shouldn't have put quite so many kalamatas in, or I should have set them all aside for ME! :D

So... that is my post for today - all about FOOD! Tonight I'm fixing the South of the Border Pork Tenderloin (Kent picked it out!) and trying to figure out what to make with it. I'm thinking Spanish Rice and maybe some fresh corn on the cob, corn just sounds yummy... oh and maybe I should pick up a watermelon too... mmm!! Gotta love when the good fresh stuff starts coming out at the store! :) We had some of the BEST strawberries last week, I was making strawberry shortcake and I was surprised how many of the strawberries were good all by themselves, I probably ate about 4 giant ones between all the pieces I popped in my mouth while I was cutting them.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Happy almost Friday!

I am so glad this week is almost over. The first couple days were just CRAZY busy, and now I'm getting into a long term time consuming project at work, but it will be GREAT when it's all said and done.

I am feeling pretty good the last couple days!! :) Still have a teeny bit of something going on cold-wise, my chest has felt a little tight and I've had a bit of a cough off and on. Kent has been waking up with a cough too, poor kiddo!

I'm on CD9 and have been using the CBE Fertility Monitor again, and actually got a "high" reading today... we didn't ever see "high" last time, so this is new! We'll see what tomorrow shows and the rest of my bodily signs. Maybe I'll ovulate on schedule all on my own this time, fingers crossed! :)

We've been trying to figure out if there is some way we can go ahead and cycle this month without doing IUI, but the doctor won't do ICI which I think would be a good alternative, to at least try... I'm a little annoyed that he won't work with us on it, but c'est la vie, May it is... :)

John has another S.A. this Friday and we're all hoping for some good progress, I'm excited to hear the results and have my fingers crossed! :)

I'm so excited for Saturday!! Dinner A'Fare with Vicki in the morning and then Texas Hold 'Em in Hampton with Kenneth and Ellen whom I met through SMO and her family and friends! Yay! Then probably nothing on Sunday with a late night Saturday... next weekend is the March for Babies in Atlanta! Ack!! It's only 5 miles, but man I have a feeling I'm going to be hurting after... I'm so out of shape!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!

It's been a wonderful and busy weekend. I've still been fighting off whatever cold bug has ahold of me at the moment, but mainly it's just meant I'm a little extra tired and get a tickle in my throat and cough every now and then.

I came home from work a couple hours early on Friday and took a nap, did some cleaning that evening but mostly took it easy. On Saturday I fixed cinnamon and orange rolls for breakfast as a treat and then we spent most of the day working on the house. It felt GREAT to get so much done, all of those things we have a tendancy to put off and ignore. The house looks good, and I am so much more comfortable and relaxed when things are clean.

I put the ribs in at 200 degrees at about 11am and we let them slow cook all day. I forgot to fix the pound cake before cooking the ribs, so I had to pull them out around 5:00 so I could have an hour to bake the pound cake (Tastefully Simple Absolutely Almond - FABULOUS!) John, Vicki and Johnny arrived a little after 6:00 and the boys played a little while I put the biscuits and macaroni in to bake and turned the corn on to boil. Kent was being a pain in the BUTT off and on last night!! He was not "playing nice" with his toys - and he's way too old to get away with that, so we had some "discussion" about being a good host. I was not impressed. Kenneth finished the ribs off on the grill and we sat down and had dinner. It was really nice to get to cook for guests - we haven't had anyone over in a long time, not sure why, guess we've just been lazy!

We took the boys outside for a little while and Johnny had fun on the play set, running around and going down the slide (or FLYING off the slide!!) :) Eventually it got pretty cool out, so we headed back in for some strawberries and whip cream on the almond pound cake and then a little more hanging out, boys playing, and chatting. Johnny LOVED our little dogs, and I got some super cute pics of the boys with the dogs on the couch:

L.B. has no ears, so Kent thought he'd give him some bunny ears...

Johnny being way too cute with L.B.!!

I felt bad, because it seemed it was hard for John & Vicki to relax with keeping up with Johnny in an unfamiliar environment but I am very glad they came (and hope they are too!) and hope maybe if we get together a few more times it will be a little easier each time! :)

We never did fill the giant vase/margarita glass up with anything to drink, but I had it out on the table, just in case! :D

Today was another busy day, I wished we could have taken it easy at home but being Easter we had a family get together with Kenneth's family, we went to his parent's house around noon and Kent got to go on an egg hunt (he LOVES egg hunts)! Around 1:00 we headed over to Honey's (Kenneth's grandmother) and everyone brought a dish or two and we had a very yummy big lunch (I stuffed myself, it was so good)! We had honey baked ham, corn casserole, broccoli casserole, crescent rolls, fruit salad, sweet potato soufle, mashed potatoes, green beans, green salad with strawberries and cupcakes and peach cobbler for dessert... LOTS of food... That's what we do - get together to eat and chat! :) The kids ran around outside a lot too - it was beautiful today!

So, that was our weekend! Looking forward to another busy week at work and then another fun and busy weekend. Vicki and I are doing Dinner A'fare next Saturday AM and then meeting Kenneth in Hampton for the Texas Hold 'Em tournament... now to see if I can convince John & Vicki to come! :)

Friday, April 10, 2009

Post-Poning IUI Until May

Vicki and John got the Semen Analysis results back last night, the motility was good, but the count has dropped significantly in the last 21 months. The count is now borderline low at 10 million when it was 60 million before. They said their biggest concern is the reason for the drop, so they are going to do another S.A. next Friday and go from there, with more testing if necessary. John will probably go on some supplements as well. Vicki talked to Dr. H. this morning and she said he was actually very supportive and would like us to hold off on the IUI this month (he said he wants at least a 20 million count for an IUI cycle) and see how things look for May.

So, we take a month off! :) I am actually feeling totally calm and chill about it, I feel bad that John and Vicki are probably upset about this news, but I have nothing but faith and trust in my heart that we're going to work it out and they'll be on their way to a baby this year. Maybe it's knowing that IVF is a possibility is what takes the pressure off, I know that this isn't "it" even if John's count is low after a couple months, we have other alternatives and I know I will get to help John & Vicki build their family... and knowing that fills me with warm fuzzies!!! :)

Vicki sent me the most GORGEOUS bouquet yesterday!!

They are SO pretty, and smell phenomenal - and the vase is WAY TOO COOL!! After our discussion this morning about the SA results, I suggested we re-vase the flowers and put that giant margarita glass to GOOD USE on Saturday! :D (Or we'll just fill it with tea... hee hee!!)

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

CD 1 - Take 2! :)

Today it's officially CD1 and we're looking forward to the upcoming cycle. I feel much more "sure" this time - about our timing and game plan, and it's nice (in some ways) to know exactly what to expect and what we need to do, much less uncertainty on my part.

We made a CD15 ultrasound appt for a follicle check on April 22nd and John is getting an updated Semen Analysis done this week (just for reassurance, the last one they had done was perfect!) So now, there's not much to do but let the days tick by until we get our sneak peak. I know I'm going to be excited when it comes around! :)

We were just going over our "schedules" for the coming weekends... they're getting busy and FAST! We're having John, Vicki, and Johnny over for dinner on Saturday night and Sunday is Easter dinner with Kenneth's family. Next Saturday Vicki & I have a 10:00 am Dinner A'Fare session and Kenneth has some work function that day, and we're probably meeting in Hampton, GA for a Texas Hold 'Em get together, then next Saturday is the March for Babies!!

It's going to go fast!! We'll be in the 2ww again, in no time! :)

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

13 DPO and temps dropped this AM

This morning I was so sad to see my thermometer read 97.9... my temp dropped pretty significantly and AF is probably on her way (I would guess sometime tomorrow). Yesterday I was thinking I was feeling a little PMSey but was thinking maybe it could still be pregnancy symptoms too (since the dang things can be so similar), but this morning with the temp drop and low achy menstrual cramps I'm pretty sure AF is on her way - right on time... I feel so sad for J&V - I wanted very much for us to be one of the lucky ones with a first time success... I am thankful that we will get to try again soon...

I am also definitely sick which probably explains some of what I've been feeling. My stomach is still queasy this morning, I am running a low grade fever, I've got a headache and I'm so tired. My throat is achy and my sinuses are congested. Thanks to my wonderful husband, for bringing that home!! :p I wish it was closer to the weekend so I would be able to rest, but I've still got another 3 days to get through and things are busy at work right now (which I really can't complain about). Maybe I can grab a nap if I need to, in the lounge.

In any event, onward and upward!

Monday, April 06, 2009

12 dpo tests... blah...

They're broken... :p Maybe tomorrow!!

12 DPO today

Still waiting on a 2nd line... starting to loose hope even though I know we still have a couple days to get a positive and still be well within the "normal" timeframe. At least I have the reassurance that we will know for sure one way or another probably no later than Thursday since my period usually shows up right on schedule at about 14dpo.

Vicki and I were just talking this morning about what could be causing all these symptoms I've been feeling the last few days if I'm not pregnant. The only thing I can think of for the bloating is the meds I'm on, the cramps I really have no clue other than maybe the OB dinged me with the catheter during the IUI and my uterus is irritated, and the fatigue I guess could be my progesterone level, or maybe a cold (Kenneth has been sick for over a week now). This morning I feel like I've been run over by a truck, totally worn out (even though I slept good last night and napped yesterday) having some lightheadedness and nausea too. My throat feels a little sore when I swallow, so maybe I am coming down with something!

Answer has been negative the last 2 mornings, and the OSOMs have gotten so light they're ALMOST invisible - it's amazing to see that there is still obviously a small amount of hcg in my system even 13 days after the trigger (as of last night). I'll have to take some new pics tonight of them.

Friday, April 03, 2009

9 DPO... annnny day now...

I know it's still early, but its at this point where I start to let worry creep in, just a little... I won't throw in the towel until AF shows her face - but I just want SO badly to see that good second line and be able to give John & Vicki HAPPY NEWS!!

This is what "testing out a trigger" on OSOMs looks like!!

Here's my test frenzy from the last couple days (4/1-4/3 7DPO through 9DPO).

This is a close up of the last 3, I got ALMOST excited when last nights was darker then the night before, but this evenings is lighter than both the previous two - so still looks like just trigger.

This is a copy of the 3 "real" tests (clearblue easy +/-) I've used the last 3 mornings with FMU. There has been a SHADOW of a line on the first two, but pretty much nothing this AM... sigh...

My temps have been good the last 3 days, a few cramps today but not much. I've been running a low grade temp the last two days as well (99.1-99.9 when I've checked)... Kenneth has been sick, but I don't feel ill, just warm often...

Still waiting on that pretty BFP!! I am praying hard we see it soon!!

Thursday, April 02, 2009

8DPO... suspense is building!

Another negative Clearblue Easy this morning, but I had the BEST good luck sign when I pulled up to Kent's daycare! I opened my door looked down and RIGHT there on the ground was a big beautiful 4-leaf clover!! Just sitting there on the pavement... I picked it up and put it in a book to press and dry it and add it to my notebook -I thought that was so cool!

We're getting closer and closer to actually being able to see a positive HPT if we are pregnant, and I'm getting excited and nervous! :)

In the middle of the night I remember waking up to my stomach growling... and then we had thunder storms and our bassett hound freaks out when there's bad weather, so he decided to let me know he was scared by coming over and putting his face in mine, breathing on me and making noise from about 2:00am on... I was not impressed. I am exhausted this morning!! I slept so good the night before and was annoyed I didn't get another good night of sleep... I'm getting tired of being so tired (unless it's for a good reason, then bring it on!) :D I also had some nausea this morning on the way in to work, and more cramps, but this time they're more like menstrual cramps all the way across instead of the twinging in that same spot... sort of a dull ache at the moment. And my temp stayed high at 98.6 now two days in a row... I can't wait to see what the next one looks like! :) So many GOOD signs and symptoms, its so hard not to get our hopes up high... but we're trying to stay positive and realistic at the same time... TRYING....

On the way to work I had to have cottage cheese for breakfast, and I can't remember the last time I've had that... so that was wierd too! It tasted good with my cantaloupe! :D

I'm so glad it's almost Friday, and then the weekend... I don't think we have anything planned and I'm looking forward to lots of resting and finishing up a ham & bean soup I started a couple days ago! I've been doing lots of cooking this week! Vicki sent us home with the rest of the ham when we had dinner last weekend, and I started making soup out of it (which Kenneth won't eat, but I love and will bring for lunch). Yesterday I almost had all of it, when I realized I couldn't find my chicken bouillon anywhere and didn't have any cans of chicken stock. So I had to get more this morning so I can finish it up, put it in containers and get it frozen (and EAT SOME)! :D

I already have dinner in the crockpot for tonight - we're doing corned beef, potatoes and carrots - sounded good to come home to on a cool day... Though after tonights dinner there will be enough leftovers for at least one or two dinners, so I probably won't get to cook again until this weekend.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

6DPO tests!

Here's a close up of the OSOM from last night, the line was pretty much invisible until after the 10 minute mark, this was taken probably almost an hour after initially using the test - the line is a little lighter then the 4DPO one, definitely still residual trigger in my system!

I am starting to take the "real" tests (clearblue easy +/- tests which aren't as sensitive as the OSOMs) as of this morning (7dpo) and hope to see double soon!! There are a few friends of mine who volunteered to get "pee stick reports" between now and whenever we actually get a BFP! I am glad to have someone to share with, and just hope that real second line shows up soon so I can tell Vicki (I've been giving her daily updates, so it's going to be really hard to keep anything from her)! I know she will be so relieved to finally get that news, and I don't want to wait too long to tell her as soon as I know! I'm still ironing out the "surprise" details! :)

I hope the next couple days go quickly, I am looking forward to taking it easy this weekend... I am so tired the last couple days. I slept GREAT last night and still woke up feeling like I didn't rest at all...